How Meghan Trainor is Single-Handedly Decimating Your Chances of Finding a Woman

    When my wife started singing along to Meghan Trainor’s new song “NO” in the car, I couldn’t help but notice the catchy tune from one of today’s...



When my wife started singing along to Meghan Trainor’s new song “NO” in the car, I couldn’t help but notice the catchy tune from one of today’s leading chart toppers, providing women of all ages with a refreshed attitude about being a modern, single woman and proudly reinforces the mantra like a 6-foot-4, 400 pound high school football player. What I also couldn’t help but notice as well: The song contains an insidious message trying to kill off every eligible bachelor’s chance of finding their match within the western world.

Does Meghan Trainor not realize she is spurring a new generation of miserable spinsters for the 21st Century?

Further, for those women who should just go ahead and donate their ovaries to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, is this song supposed to be a positive reinforcement to living alone with nine cats? I don’t know how glorious it is to be living in perpetual solitude in an overpriced apartment with nothing to show for it but used take-out containers from local Chinese restaurants. That seems like a never-ending spoonful of shit to me.

By what my own observations lead me to believe, this song is dedicated to the continued re-programming of our biological imperatives and is enforcing the SJW-derived notions that “men suck”, “women are the best, get over it” and “you shouldn’t need to have a man in your life, unless it is you who deems it is absolutely needed”.  Had this song’s destructive intentions been contained to a single demographic within our western culture, I would have otherwise ignored it, but this song (and like many other pop stars of the modern era) are systematically stacking the odds against you hooking up tonight.

Let’s get down to brass-tacks.

While the layered messages within the song might not be consciously decoded by her audience, it is ultimately hurting YOUR chances with the next eligible woman you meet at the bar, club, library, gas station or upcoming plane flight. Before women saying “No” at first might have been a component of the old cat-and-mouse paradigm but this is something completely different. This is taking an already tough situation of ‘breaking the ice’ and throwing the entire fucking thing out the window. The deflector shields are up and they are not coming down, no matter what you look like or what she really thinks of you deep down inside. For now, at least.

What I hope to offer to you, the reader who is currently navigating a perilous journey of epic social justice/ feminazi proportions, is to be persistent (more so, patient) with this new wave of thinking and behavior.

I get it…

…you’re already fighting your own battles with the legions of man-haters that think you perpetuate a rape culture just by your own existence, but there will come a time when the red alarms go off in the minds of most sane women, screaming bloody murder for companionship with the opposite sex, that hopefully leads to marriage and then onward towards babies someday.

Or maybe I’m wrong and this is the new path for the human race. Maybe in the future, men won’t need to initiate contact with women they find attractive enough to go up to and say ‘hi’. Maybe we’ll all just blend together and become a single androgynous race of beings that produce offspring with In vitro fertilization simply for the sake of prolonging the human race. I know a few SJWs that would prefer it that way


Born in Indiana but was raised in Connecticut and Virginia. Joined the United States Marine Corps in 2001 and spent 8 years visiting exotic places, meeting strange people and always having a plan to kill everyone he met along the way. Has (4) tours of combat under his belt, both in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now has a much calmer lifestyle with his wife, Cristina. Enjoys powerlifting, drinking whiskey, shooting guns in the (still) free state of Virginia and making liberals lose their fucking minds. You can reach him at @mattycakes0231 on Twitter.


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